Yesterday night at a ‘under 18s’ party, one would have discovered a mass of zebras. Wait, no sorry (typo) , girls wearing ADIDAS tracksuits and males somehow smuggling in ‘drug bags’ – which we now know was a faux nike messenger bag with Cadbury Star Wars chocolate lollies inside, due to reports by the Chunky Monkey staff.

“Char, hey Char, do you think Kane has had too much Dip Dap?”
“Shut the f*** up Poppy; he’s in a good place,”
“Kai, go get me some f****** haribo starmix,”
“It takes a few minutes to kick in Levi…,”
“Get me an innocent smoothie, but make sure it’s raspberry or you’re in for it mate,”
“Mate, I’m gonna do my homework by the pick-n-mix bar,”

Also, it seems the kids have become more accepting of the social hierarchy in school today. It seemed the ginger got the girl. Wow.






Written by Phoebe 

Ponchos: stupid. If I had to describe this ‘fashion icon’ in one word, ‘stupid’ (or maybe ‘pointless’) would be the first one that comes on mind. The sheer word brings everything wrong with the world to my attention. Now, before you judge me, this is NOT a first world problem, in fact, it is quite the opposite. Many of the population are walking around with blankets wrapped around their bodies for fun. Now, not only do they look…peculiar, it is a right task to get them on.


First, you have to pick one. Beige, orange, stripes? Then, once you have decided on a colour, one decides to change the outfit they were originally wearing to accommodate this fabric thing. You also have a throw it over your head in an angst, causing you to splutter when it gets stuck in your mouth and you are unable to breathe momentarily. Finally, you realise you look stupid but say ‘F*** it, everyone else is wearing one,” and walk out of the house with a bird’s nest on the top of your head. Great.

Not only do they look like you are attending a elderly ladies convention, you have to tackle the task of going out. Your friends give you a “Yes, you look great”, when they actually think you look like a bloated whale who went to a ‘Booze Fest’ the night before.

I have come across many ponchos in the past, always hanging on hangers. Now, they don’t deserve to be on a hanger and should be folded up with the cotton t-shirts. Actually, scratch that, t-shirts are useful. Right, put them in with the heels that are made to look like trainers.